Prayer (Again)

I feel as if this is a constant theme for my little blog, but it is something that is on my mind constantly.

With the fall approaching, we are beginning to do "school" in earnest these days. For me, the most important part of my children's education will be their religious formation. I have been feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of this task and my own inadequacies in the spiritual life. There is a large part of me that would rather procrastinate on the religious formation, until my own spiritual life is what it should be.

The reality is that it will never be what it "should" be until after this life. I am so imperfect in so many ways. But a wise mother once said to me, "God gave you these specific children, because He knew that you were the one, who would help lead them to Him. And, they are the ones, that you need, in order to bring you closer to God."

I think I feel guilty that I cannot seem to spend adequate time in quiet prayer. Sam is nursing less, and therefore my quiet, sitting down time is no longer there. I need to embrace, in a more ardent way, the ability to "pray without ceasing." I need to seek Our Lord in the faces of my children. I need to see Him in them as I wash their little faces and their little hands. I need to see His heart as they reach to me for comfort and love. I need to see myself as serving Him, in my little daily tasks such as food prep and laundry. I realize that this is very elementary, but it is something I am ashamed to say that I have lost sight of.

My prayer needs to be a constant looking for and at Our Lord through my daily tasks. I do need to find a way to get closer to Him. I need to accept the enormous task of trying to make Our Lord present to my children, all the while, trying to get closer to His Sacred Heart myself. This is my vocation.

Thank you Lord, for Your gentle reminders.