Here we go, with one of those very honest posts, which I generally regret writing later on.
I am floundering. I feel completely disconnected from everything. I feel disconnected from my kids, my husband, myself and more importantly from my spiritual life. I think I am still in a state of shock after the move. For the past few weeks, every free moment has either been preparing to pack boxes or later, unpacking them with wild abandonment and now we are entering into a lull. I think I finally feel like I could catch my breath and somehow it hurts. I realize that doesn't make much sense, but there you go. It is how I feel right now.
I think I need to just stop. Say a few prayers, particularly of thanksgiving, play with my kids, romance my husband, read a book etc. Now that I write that, perhaps that ought to become my "To-Do-List" for the week. I am looking forward to this weekend, our first "real" weekend in our new home. I can't wait to curl up next to my husband and watch a movie while sipping on some wine. I want to play with the kids and be fun again. I think I feel like I haven't been "fun" in such a long time and I miss it.
For now, I am desperately trying to shrug off this feeling of "hurt," and overwhelmed and generally exhausted. Maybe I should start with a good conversation with Jesus over a nice cup of black coffee. Yep, I think I will start right there. :)
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5 comments:
I am so reaching through the computer to give you a hug right now. Me too, girlie, me too. Different reasons, same feeling. It's so hard. xoxox
Lots of prayers coming your way. I feel a lot like how you described, esp. the not being fun part. We are in the midst of packing and are temporarily living with Alex's family but are not yet sure of what comes after that, which is really hard. A good talk with Jesus and a cup of coffee sounds like a great idea.
~Ashley
Thank you so much, M.T. and Ashley! Thank you for the encouragement. :)
Just now reading this. We moved in April and it has taken until just the last month for me to start to feel connected again. It was a wonderful change, but a change nonetheless and it has taken a lot longer than I ever imagined to accep all the new normal. I love it, and you will too just give yourself more time!
BTW, I'm a friend of your Moms in VA please let her know Kathryn says "hi"
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