Inner Reflection

Newborns seem to permeate everything and everyone around them with a kind of "newness." There are new clothes, new diapers, new routines, new personality, new temperament, new laughter, new smiles, new smells etc. In a much more subtle way, they bring a newness to the inner life of those around them.

I am a "new" mother, despite this being my second time around. Having a boy, a son, brings a different kind of tenderness than I had with Rose. I am still learning what it means to be both the mother of Rose, and the mother of Sam. I am new to Samuel's love language. I am new to his sleeping patterns. I am new to the struggles that surface within my heart at the end of an exhausting day. I am new to the thrill of his laughter when I cuddle and talk to him.

Our family is learning to work as a family of four. We are new to how our relationships change and shift to include this little person. Rose Marie in particular, is new to being a big sister and having to share Mommy and Daddy. We are learning how to be the security and stability she needs while beginning and establishing a relationship with Samuel.

All of this "newness" is oftentimes very overwhelming. I find myself a rookie in a game I thought I was getting the hang of. And yet, I am also seeing that the things that mean the most, the things that speak the most familiarity, the things that help you feel comfortable amidst the change, is often the little things. A familiar story read to Rose while I nurse Sam, seems to give the security that was needed. A quick kiss and a hug give the confidence to proceed to the next task. A gentle touch is tangible evidence of a deep love. Remembering the power of these little things has brought so much peace to everyone recently. I need to resolve, not to try to find big solutions when things get overwhelming, but to cling to the little things. It is the little things, the little ways of love, that help me to enjoy the here and now, the newness, the freshness. And that is something I do not want to miss!